


This Heart's Road

by chase_acow



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: An Unexpected Journey, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-13 12:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1226929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chase_acow/pseuds/chase_acow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tale of romance, if you please, the tale of Fili a love-struck dwarf and Bilbo, a very grumpy hobbit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't had any one else read over this, so if there's any glaring mistakes please let me know. I hope you enjoy and I hope to have all the parts posted in the next couple of days if you'd rather wait. Sadly, I don't get to the explicit bits until Desolation.

" _Ow_! What in blazes?"

Bilbo jerked his hand back from the pack currently flattening his bag. Bad enough that dwarf had thoughtlessly squashed the few supplies Bilbo had managed to grab before his flight from home, but he'd apparently sabotaged it too. He shook his hand out, glad to see that whatever it was hadn't pinched hard enough to draw blood.

"Oy, Bilbo, what are you doing?" 

Glaring, Bilbo shuffled sideways, attempting to avoid whatever physical demonstration was about to happen. Even a hearty clap on the back from his new traveling companions was enough to send him stumbling over uneven ground. "I was very innocently trying to pick up my bag, when this pack of yours attacked me," he answered, stifling the urge to kick the dwarf's larger pack in protest. No telling what damage would occur if he tried.

Kili – no, Fili, Bilbo mentally corrected himself, glanced down at the pack. Kili was probably going to kill him through sheer enthusiasm, and that was how Bilbo was trying to keep these two particular dwarves straight. Fili easily hooked the strap of the bag under one massive boot and hauled it up into reaching distance.

"I knew we'd be facing many dangerous things on this journey, but I did not realize I would be carrying the most dangerous foe of all on my back," Fili said, glancing at Bilbo from the corner of his eye. "Truly, I don't know how I have survived this long."

"I do believe our dear mother asks the same question nearly every night!" Kili said, having snuck up behind Bilbo while he was watching Fili. He slung a heavy arm around Bilbo's shoulders and ignored the way Bilbo squirmed and tried to throw him off. "How _have_ you survived this long, Fili?"

"No thanks to you, that's for sure," Fili answered quickly, though he didn't look up from where he was checking through his bag. "Ah, here it went! I thought I'd lost it."

With a giant smile, Fili pulled out a dagger and held it up for Bilbo to admire. The blade wasn't very long, but it angled in the middle, clearly made to cause the most damage possible, and looked sharp enough to cut the wind. The hilt was some kind of antler, but had several veins of gold delicately curving from top to bottom. It was the first weapon Bilbo had seen that he thought would qualify as beautiful.

Before he had a chance to really study it, Fili moved his arms and the dagger disappeared as if by magic. He had noticed that even though both Fili and Nori could secret away items at the drop of a hat, only Nori was banned from the card games that inevitably popped up whenever they took a break from riding.

"Now then, Mister Baggins-"

"Boggins!"

" _Baggins_." Fili emphasized over Kili's chuckles, as he deliberately pushed himself between them to put his brother at his back while speaking to Bilbo. "Any damage to your gear?"

"No, I don't think so," Bilbo said after he'd picked his pack up and brushed the dirt off.

"And you, Mister Baggins? Did my pack bite you terribly?"

"Oh, ha, ha," Bilbo rolled his eyes, and straightened, trying to gather his dignity as best he could. "No damage done this time."

"I'm glad to hear it," Fili said, shouldering his pack. His moustache idly swayed when his lips quirked into a half grin. "I'll be more careful with this brute in the future. Good evening."

"Good evening," Bilbo stuttered, unsure while such a farewell would have knocked him so caddywhompus. He watched as the two young dwarves made their way across the camp. Halfway there, Kili said something, and Fili shoved him into Bifur which started a whole new fight sucking up another handful of dwarves. Fili, of course, escaped scot-free.

Bilbo finally decided that Fili must have been making fun as his expense. He dug through his pack until he found the tin of tobacco he'd wanted, and then stomped to the opposite side of camp for a smoke.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	2. Chapter 2

"Try relaxing your hips, Mister Baggins."

Bilbo would have jerked around to the side if one, his back didn't hurt so much, and two, his pony wouldn't have used any excuse to bolt right out from under him. Although, there was no doubt who had spoken, Fili had an unusual lilt to his voice that none of the other in the company shared.

Half the company had already tried to give him helpful tips about the monster, though Bofur's advice to close his eyes and think of the Shire must have been the least so. "If I relax, I'll fall off," Bilbo said, grimacing as the pony bounced over a dip in the path.

Fili reined in his pony next to Bilbo, and both animals settled into a sedate plodding that made Bilbo breathe a little easier. He'd spent days riding this cantankerous beast, and Bilbo was faint at the idea of riding all the way to the Lonely Mountain. Forget about the dragon, he'd be too black and blue from the bumps and falls to do any burglaring. 

"No you won't. If you relax, then your pony won't be so nervous. If she's not nervous, then you're not so tight, and you won't be so sore and giving her mixed signals. Then, when you're both not so cranky with each other, you'll soon be fast friends," Fili explained. He, like most the dwarves, sat expertly on his pony, quite nearly as at ease in the saddle as on the ground.

"I'd sooner kiss Farmer Maggot's prize hog," Bilbo scowled at the pony's ears. He'd never get used to riding when what he wanted was a long, peaceful ramble. His thighs had never ached so much, not since he'd foolishly decided to replant his entire garden himself in a fit of restlessness one afternoon.

Fili laughed, the sound bright enough to cut through the general chatter of the other dwarves. A few looked back at them, but only Kili held up a two finger salute with his thumb lodged between that had several members of the company chortling themselves.

"You'll hurt Myrtle's feelings, Mister Baggins," Fili admonished, once he'd returned Kili's gesture with one of his own. "What you've got here is a cycle of mistrust that makes you both miserable. One of you has to be big enough to get forge going."

"But does it have to be me?" Bilbo moaned a little. Fili's words had merit, far more than the other advice lobbed at him, but still, it was all well and good to tell him to do something, when he had no idea how to go about it.

"Myrtle's just a pony, Bilbo. Do you want to try to explain it to her?" Fili laughed again, reaching over to pat the pony down her neck. Myrtle arched her neck and leaned toward Fili's pony.

"I think what you meant to say was, _'Mrytle's just a dark beast of doom. Give her a finger to chew on and she'll be your best mate.'_ " Bilbo replied in a terrible falsetto that didn't sound anything like Fili at all.

"Oh, stop grouching so," Fili said, clamping his knees round his pony's chest and dropping his reins. He leaned over and wrapped his arm around Bilbo's waist before Bilbo could do much more than startle. "I won't let you fall. Trust me?"

"Y-yes, I suppose," Bilbo swallowed the sudden excess of saliva, and if anything, tensed up more. He wasn't used to being touched anymore, not like this. Gentle hobbits didn't rough house, not like he used to when he was a tween and such. It had been so long since he'd had the chance to enjoy someone so close.

"Now, don't go embarrassing me with heaps of praise. I won't stand for it," Fili tugged playfully on Bilbo's waistcoat. "Now right here, this is where you need to relax. Shift with the pony, like Kili, see? It will also help stretch out your kinks. Your muscles will get stronger with time. Try it. I'll stay right here to make sure you stay a-saddle."

The angle put Fili's head at Bilbo's shoulder, and he could feel warm puffs of breath through his shirt. With Fili's arm around him, he slowly let up on the tension in his muscles and felt his thighs cramp for a moment. It got better after a few moments, when he remembered how to relax. He took a deep breath and felt Fili move with him.

"Good, now exaggerate the movement until you get the hang of it, and then you can bring it down. Here, when I push, shift your hips side to side," Fili cupped Bilbo's hipbone in his huge palm and squeezed it while gently tipping Bilbo to the side. "That's right, little hobbit, you'll get the hang of it."

Bilbo felt the bottom of his stomach drop out, just as low as Fili let his voice go. Every other pace of the horse rocked him into Fili, and he found he didn't mind so much, though he'd always guarded his personal space before. Fili was solid, even though the rest of the world swayed Fili made him feel less like he was libel to fly right of the pony and into the sky.

"Actually, I'm quite an average hobbit, not little," he said, voice so soft that Fili might not have heard him if their faces weren't quite so close together. It was the most inane thing he could have thought to say, and he winced immediately after the words left his mouth.

"Oh, you are clearly anything but average, Mister Baggins," Fili said, tightening his grip around Bilbo's middle. "I can already see that."

"Fili! Come scout ahead for a place to rest," Thorin yelled from the front of the line, glowering at both of them over the heads of the others.

"As my leader bellows," Fili sighed and tugged Bilbo's waistcoat again before he straightened on his own pony. "Think you have the hang of it now? Sit loose, and Myrtle will be good to you."

"I… Thank you, Fili. This was kind," Bilbo said, already feeling better about his odds surviving this trek. 

"I'm always kind," Fili said, urging his pony into a quick trot.

Fili overtook the rest of the line, pausing only briefly with Thorin to share a few words. The sun behind them burnished his hair, throwing their shadows before them like boggles, both fleeting and skittish. Bilbo watched until Fili disappeared over the next hill, but it was much longer than that before he realized Myrtle hadn't startled him at all since his lesson.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	3. Chapter 3

Bilbo set the first stack of bowls into the small natural basin in the rocks of the stream and went back for the second set. It was his turn to do the washing up, but he couldn't carry them all at once. Even two trips of the combined flotsam of thirteen dwarves, a wizard, and a hobbit was almost too much for him. He peered around the stack of bowls, mugs, and pans, managing to dump them in the empty basin.

Brushing his hands off, Bilbo turned to get the second set of . . .

The basin had been empty, but he filled it just a second ago. He tapped his chin and looked downstream to see if he'd just wandered a bit too far from his original destination. He even walked down a little ways to see if it was concealed by one of the rocks. No, there was definitely nothing there, the only place the stream eddied between rocks was where he'd placed the second set of dishes.

He turned back, to find the basin empty again, and he spun in a circle, looking for the waylaid crockery. Bilbo knew he'd brought down the company's dinnerware, and knew they were still all up at the fire competing over who had the best morning-after related story. Gandalf had announced the area safe enough and was content to sit and smoke by the fire. Besides, who ever heard of a dish-thieving orc?

Bilbo spun around again, before he let his chin drop to his chest. He jerked his head left and then right, hearing an audible pop from his spine. "All right then, come out already!" he shouted, trying the old trick of taking ten deep breaths before saying anything he couldn't easily take back. "I know it's you!"

A nearby bush shook guiltily, and Bilbo crossed his arms over his chest, tapping his foot. "Of all the juvenile dwarvish nonsense. A hobbit can't turn his back around here without falling victim to mindless antics. Come out right now!" he tried again, knowing at any second Kili or Fili would appear and make him the butt of another joke or song.

The longer they kept Bilbo waiting, the madder he got, muttering under his breath words no hobbit mother would have let go unscolded. Several seconds passed, the bush shuddered violently again, and Bilbo wasn't so sure that it was hiding a pair of pranking dwarves anymore.

"Kili!"

The bush growled at him, its branches reaching toward him.

"Fili?"

A bunny finally escaped from the inner guts of the bush. It took one look at Bilbo and then hopped merrily away without a care in the world. Heaving a sigh of relief, Bilbo wiped at the sweat beading up on his forehead. "When I find those pretty-faced dwarves, I will personally cut off all their braids," he muttered, turning around and immediately knocked his nose into a well-muscled chest.

"Don't hold back, Mister Baggins, tell me what you really think," Fili said as he steadied Bilbo with a hand to the hobbit's elbow. "Just how pretty am I?"

"You're _insufferable_. That's what you are," Bilbo said, irritation rising now that his fear had flown away. He pulled away from the dwarf and brushed his coat off. "What's the meaning of all this?"

Fili wrapped an arm around Bilbo's shoulder and steered him toward the river. "Kili owes me a favor, so he's taken the dishes downstream to wash them," he said, only stopping when they came back to the basin Bilbo had intended to use. "I thought you could use a break. You've been doing so much better riding and camping."

Back at the camp a roar of laughter when up, startling all the birds quiet until only the musical sounds of the stream running filled the silence. Fili had left his coat somewhere, and rolled the sleeves of his shirt up, showing off his defined arms. They weren't scarred or tattooed, not like some of the older dwarves, but Fili had a strength that Bilbo imagined he could quite like.

"Yes, well. Thank you. For helping," Bilbo stalled for time, though he meant the thanks genuinely, he wasn't sure what Fili had planned and that made him nervous. He clapped his hands in front of him and rubbed them together. "I'm afraid my strolls through the Shire were a poor primer."

"Exactly!" Fili grinned, his braids swinging as he took a seat to one side and gestured for Bilbo to sit across from him. "And so, a reward."

"What exactly did you have in mind?" Bilbo asked, still on guard, but willing to hear Fili out for the chance at a treat. How he longed to forget about this absurd journey, if only for a moment. Fili had not ever been cruel, even if his table manners were deplorable, and Bilbo let his hopes rise.

"Just a bit of pampering," Fili grinned, searching though his pockets until he found a small comb carved from light wood and brandished it in the air. "I noticed that along with your handkerchief, you seem to have run off without a good comb, so I made you one."

Bilbo guiltily ran his hand through his hair and felt heat bloom through his cheeks. He thought he'd been taking good enough care of it that it wasn't so obvious that he couldn't groom himself properly. He'd be so embarrassed to show his face in the marketplace looking like such a vagabond, torn clothes and messy hair. Even younglings could keep their feet better than his current attempts. Oh, Lobelia would have enough fodder to fire her gossip machine for weeks.

"No, not the hair on your head," Fili said, pulling on the back of Bilbo's knee so he took a seat rather quicker than he meant to. Fili continued after grabbing the foot Bilbo threw up to balance himself. "I meant here on your toes. Tisk, tisk. We can't have our hobbit looking like a bandit."

"A bandit hobbit," Bilbo snorted, imagining just such a thing. Though the water nearby was chilly, it had nothing to do with the shiver that that took him as Fili ran his hands along Bilbo's ankles. "When would we have time for such a thing?"

"I imagine right before lunch and right after that other meal. What was it called again?" Fili asked, brushing the dirt and leaves off Bilbo's foot before he took the comb and a steady hand to untangling the hair curling down his toes. "And let me know if I hurt you."

"Elevensies," Bilbo supplied, wiggling his foot in Fili's hold. It had been a long time since someone had been close enough to care for him in such a way. Other hobbits respected him, invited him to tea, and asked his opinion on important topics like tomatoes or gossip on which middle child was sneaking out of the barn scandalously past moonrise. They asked him for loans that were never paid back. "Don't pull against the hair growth, and it should be fine."

FIli glanced up at Bilbo through his eyelashes, "I think I would quite like to sample hobbit hospitality again one day, though not just for the meals."

"I'm not sure the Shire could take another dwarven invasion," Bilbo said under his breath. On the other hand, maybe it was just what the hobbits needed. He wouldn't say he was part of the Company yet, but the members were growing on him… rather like a creeper vine that was pretty enough as long as it was always guarded from taking over the entire patch.

For a dwarf with such large hands, Fili was remarkably gentle with a deft touch. Bilbo relaxed under his ministrations and let his toes curl down in pleasure. A small tangle came loose with Fili's attention, and several bits of dried mud dropped, bouncing on the rocks. He'd be embarrassed except that Fili didn't seem to care and didn't stop until the hair curled free across both of Bilbo's feet.

"You hobbits take the hair on your feet very seriously, don't you?" Fili asked, dipping Bilbo's feet in the water before he began rubbing all the tension away. The massage melted Bilbo until he was slouched down with both feet warming of Fili's lap.

"Yes, yes, of course," Bilbo said, trying his best not to purr out loud. Fili really knew how to use his thumbs on the tender parts of his soles. It was glorious to sit on a rock that held a last little bit of sun's warmth, and not worry about anything at all. "It's the most important part of a hobbit's grooming."

"So you probably wouldn't take kindly to someone threatening to shave it?"

"No of course not. I've only heard of one feud that went that far and that was only after the third time both sides were snubbed by the Old Took's daughter. They also lost five eyebrows, three prize pumpkin patches, and a curio full of mathom. Why would you ask?"

Fili wrapped one hand around both of Bilbo's ankles and waited until the hobbit looked at him to answer. "Oh I don't know, it's not as if we dwarves had any kind of similar honor, or anything," Fili answered, twirling his moustache with his free hand.

"Oh, bother," Bilbo suddenly remembered his earlier threat. "When I threatened your braids, I wasn't half serious."

"A quarter serious?" Fili raised both eyebrows.

"Only a couple of times, and you can't say you lot didn't bring it on yourselves more often than not," Bilbo said, defending himself. He casually tried to draw his feet away from Fili in case the dwarf actually had revenge on his mind. No matter how matted his hair had been, showing up with _no_ hair would be worse.

Fili kept hold of Bilbo's ankles but shifted his grip to spread Bilbo's legs as he leaned forward between them. "Still, I think I deserve some reparations," Fili said, as he shifted his weight to hover over Bilbo. His hands skated up the outsides of Bilbo's legs, one landing on a his thigh while the other curved over his ribcage.

It took a couple of tries for Bilbo to swallow around the surprise in his throat. His knees were stretched wide to make room for Fili's body, almost like riding, but infinitely more pleasurable. He curled his feet slightly, urging Fili closer. "And what would you ask for?" he asked, licking his lips. He was no stranger to this game, but he knew the rules he'd played by had long since changed. Honestly, he hadn't cared to play since inheriting Bag End, and he couldn't quite believe that Fili would be interested in him.

"I think a kiss would suffice."

Bilbo laughed, startled though he really shouldn't have been. Fili must have been teasing him, to ask for a kiss so soon. Still, he would have liked something more than the casual tolerance most the company granted him. The bitter laughter died quickly when Fili didn't join in, and he narrowed his eyes. "You really mean it?" 

"Aye. Kiss me," Fili said, tracing Bilbo's jaw with his thumb. He followed Bilbo's eyes no matter how Bilbo tried to avoid his gaze.

It had been cool sitting on the shore just a moment ago, but now warmth spread through his chest. Fili lowered his head until they were so close to kissing and Bilbo really couldn't decide if he wanted the wait or a kiss that would last forever. There weren't any tattling aunts hiding nearby, and he wasn't getting any younger. "I'm not sure that would be a sufficient deterrent to keep me away from your braids," he whispered, automatically licking his lips.

"Kissing Fili _is_ a punishment!"

Fili winced, heaving an audible sigh as he dropped his hand to Bilbo's shoulder.

"There's no escape from him, is there?" Bilbo asked, taking a fistful of Fili's jacket in his hand until the dwarf looked at him again. The new color on his cheeks did strange things to Bilbo's stomach.

"Only his ever hastening death by my hand," Fili agreed, rolling his eyes. He turned his head and shouted toward the rocks where Kili's voice had echoed. "You hear that, Kili? Best not be showing your belly tonight!"

The moment was broken spectacularly, but Bilbo would be a Blackhart before he let Kili get the best of him. Before he could think twice, Bilbo darted up and pressed his lips to the side of Fili's mouth. He may have gotten slightly more moustache than he wanted, but by Fili's quick intake of breath, his intent was obvious.

"Oh, Mister Baggins, I see you do enjoy rising to the challenge," Fili dipped his head and pressed his own quick kiss to Bilbo's mouth. The exchange was swift, and Bilbo felt a charge between them that he never felt ducking into a haystack with the young lasses back home. He didn't want to let Fili pull away.

A rain of pebbles fell barely short of pelting them. "There will be no _'rising'_ of anything!" Kili yelled, before throwing another handful of missiles.

"Let's get back before he strains something," Fili said, standing and holding out a hand to help Bilbo too. "I very much enjoyed my time with you today. Would you accept the comb?"

The comb was delicate and fine, but Bilbo had already known that from how carefully Fili was able to use it. Upon closer inspection, he saw the larger teeth on either end were carved in the likeness of the same flowering vines he had growing up around the windows of his spare bedrooms. The desire to go home was almost insurmountable, and unshed tears choked his throat closed. 

"If you don't like it," Fili trailed off, clearly at loss.

"No! I'll treasure it," Bilbo hugged Fili as hard as he could. As glad as he was to feel someone as solid and close as the dwarf, he let go before Fili could reciprocate. He was too much of a grown hobbit to keep blubbering and dragging his heels. He needed to show them that he belonged, that he could carry his own weight. "Thank you. Again. That's all I ever seem to be doing."

"It is my pleasure, Mister Baggins," Fili said gesturing Bilbo to walk beside him.

"Call me Bilbo, please," Bilbo said, staying close enough that he and Fili brushed more often than not.

"That would also be my pleasure," Fili glanced away and smoothed his fingers over his eyebrow, "Bilbo."

Behind them, a bush made a retching sound.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	4. Chapter 4

The apple was saved from lunch. He might be a hobbit on the run, but his desire to provide for others hadn't stayed behind in the Shire. Riding with the dwarves was a constant reminder that they didn't need his help at anything. He half-expected Thorin to haul him all the way to the mountain and then say 'Never mind, I'll do this myself too.'

Myrtle on the other hand at the least needed him to scratch her itchiest places. Fili had been right about him and the pony getting along better once they stopped mistrusting each other. In his better moments, Bilbo might have been willing to accede that there might also be a lesson there for him and half the company.

On the other hand, the pony had nothing on either their stubbornness or their snoring.

He should have been tired enough to fall asleep, after all the ground they'd covered and the fact that he'd taken a watch the previous night, but Fili had ridden with him most of the day, and he wasn't willing to let go of that warm feeling yet. He hoped that Fili hadn't gotten in too much trouble, he'd seen both Thorin and Kili back Fili into a corner to have heated discussions. The friendlier members of the company had slapped him on the back, and taken to winking at him when they thought Fili couldn't see.

He hadn't managed to get another moment alone with Fili since, and the brothers had first watch for the night. He liked Kili, but the way the other Durin brother watched him made him anxious. Bilbo felt like he was being weighed and measured by some invisible standard that he had no chance to live up to. It wasn't a feeling he was used to, not when he'd spent more years avoiding being the Shire's most eligible bachelor than he'd care to admit.

Myrtle crunched on the apple, her lips ticked his palm as she delicately ate the fruit. Her hairy coat wasn't the softest pelt in the world, but the texture of it running through his fingers helped relax him. The idea of asking for her as a reward after the quest tickled the back of his mind. He should have a pony at Bag End. Maybe he would visit his Took relatives more once his contract was finished. Yes, Bilbo was feeling pretty good about this whole adventure thing.

Then the shrieking started.

There was nothing like orcs to bring him hurtling down to reality. Kili explained in a quiet voice, painted a picture that Bilbo could all too easily imagine happening to their own camp. He would have expected Kili to have one over on him, but not Fili who joined in on the tale. Bilbo was set to demand to sleep in between them if that's what it took. Until they started laughing at him.

The story of Thorin's unwanted rise to power did take his mind off of it for a while. Hearing how the young dwarf prince had taken up an oak branch to defend his people stirred all sorts of feelings in Bilbo. Balin's storytelling was equal to any in the Shire, and it felt like that first night, listening to the dwarves sing in Bag End. He felt all the history and honor of the dwarves, and it was easy again to know that their quest was a good one.

His anger wouldn't stall forever, though, Bagginses learned how to bank that fire at a young age.

The dwarves scattered back to their families and bedrolls after Balin finished the tale of the pale orc and the battle at Moria's gate. Dwalin and Balin took over the watch, and everything settled down again, the original shrieks long forgotten. Bilbo lay on his side, watching the sky and daydreaming of how he would restock his pantry when he got home. It was a nice thought.

"Bilbo. _Psssst_ , Bilbo. Are you awake?"

"No, I'm not," Bilbo whispered, irritated that he couldn't adequately demonstrate his irritation without waking up half the camp again. "Now leave me alone."

He could hear someone shifting around behind him, but Bilbo refused to turn around. He wasn't going to continue to allow himself to be the butt of every joke. Not even for more of Fili's attention. He was a Baggins of Bag End, and he was better than that.

"I thought you might want to bunk closer to us tonight," Fili said, though his voice was softer and more hesitant than Bilbo had ever heard before.

"So you can have more fun at my expense?" Bilbo asked, drawing his hands up beneath his chin and curling tighter into himself. "So you and your brother can try to scare me more? No thank you."

"Bilbo, I wasn't-"

" _Good_ night, princeling," Bilbo said, shutting his eyes firmly. Part of him instantly regretted refusing the offer, but the bigger, more prideful part of him was determined to be eaten by orcs before he took any offer of aid from the Durin brothers.

He didn't know exactly how long it took, but Fili finally left him, and Bilbo did not hear anything else until Ori roused him for breakfast.

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	5. Chapter 5

The rain refused to let up, and half the dwarves were sulking as if the sky was doing it to them personally. Bilbo didn't mind it too much, at least it wasn't a cold rain and it matched his mood. It might be the one case where not having a bushel of hair and a hundred layers of fur and wool worked out in his favor. Dori did look a bit like an offended, half-drowned tomcat.

If it had just been the rain, Bilbo would have suffered it quietly and just been glad when they stopped for the night. Even friendly Bofur had given up trying to cheer him up. Unfortunately, they couldn't stop until they found a crossing point for the river which had swelled in the rains and raged up, barely contained. They hadn't even taken lunch, and his stomach was busy growling and wrapping around his spine.

Bilbo was riding toward the front for a change, putting as much distance as possible between him and the Durins. Fili had tried to speak with him again before they moved out, but Bilbo had stayed closer to Gandalf than the wizard's shadow and Fili eventually gave up. It was a silly idea anyway. What did a hobbit and a dwarf have in common?

Fili's anguished yell had Bilbo twisting around in his saddle to see what happened. The last he saw was Fili's boots as he dived into river after his brother.

"Downstream! Quick!" Nori yelled, leading the charge as the dwarves spurred their ponies on.

They passed Bilbo quickly, but he reined Myrtle in to keep her from running off with him. He couldn't see Fili or Kili anywhere, only the sweeping current, the gurgles and bubbles. It felt like he was in the river, the rain stole his breath, and he couldn't wipe it out of his eyes fast enough. Kili's pony surfaced again, swept only a little ways downstream, but he saw its head briefly and then the river claimed it for good.

Myrtle neighed and pulled her head until the reins went slack in his hands, and then she followed her pack mates downstream. The ponies grouped in a protective circle, but the dwarves had rushed to where the bank of the river inclined slowly. They waded into the river, holding onto each other while Dori and Dwalin kept the anchor point only ankle deep in water. Thorin led them, using both arms to tread water and search for his nephews.

"Please, please," Bilbo chanted, sliding off his pony and standing helplessly on the bank as close as he dared to get. "Anything? Have you seen them yet?"

Thorin doubled his efforts, getting sucked under the water himself. Each time his head breached the surface he took in deep gasping breaths that got wetter and wetter. Finally, he was under the water so long that even Dwalin looked worried.

"Pull him back!" Bilbo yelled, even as something in his chest cracked along with his voice. "Pull him out before you're all lost!"

"Heave, lads!" Dwalin shouted, making eye contact with Dori. "One, two, _heave_!"

Working in rhythm, Dwalin and Dori managed to haul in the Nori and Bifur, Oin and Gloin, Balin and Bombur, Bofur and Ori, and finally Thorin, who was clutching both Kili and Fili's jackets and dragging them along with him. Bilbo sagged in relief when he saw that all three Durins were breathing and able crawl up the last few feet to slightly drier land.

Both younger dwarves coughed and sputtered, choking and spitting up as much water as they could. All the others except for Thorin laughed, clapping each other on the back while they congratulated Nori for his quick thinking. Thorin sat to the side, quietly getting his wind back and nodding at something Balin said.

Not wanting to get trampled on, Bilbo drifted back toward the ponies. Myrtle nudged him and he stroked her down the nose, no longer afraid that he would lose a finger if he dared. "It's okay, Myrtle," he said quietly, finally believing it himself. "Everyone's okay now."

Gandalf reappeared after another unnoticed disappearance and pronounced there was no good going on tonight, the river would not be forded until the rain had stopped. Everyone put up a sigh of relief and drifted apart to find their ponies and baggage. Oin had Fili sitting on a rock, his ear trumpet held low against Fili's bare chest, listening while the younger dwarf took deep breaths.

From where he was, he could already see a bruise blooming across Fili's ribs. Everyone else had already spoken to Fili and Kili, he wanted his chance too. He wanted to touch Fili's hair and tug his ear for making Bilbo worry so, and he wanted them to forgive each other. The blow his pride took last night couldn't compare to the ache of almost losing the dwarf before they got to know each other.

He didn't even make it halfway before Thorin started yelling at him. "Mister Baggins, go help Bombur get some food ready."

Bilbo stepped closer to Fili, unable to tear his eyes away. "Okay, in just a minute."

" _Now_ , Mister Baggins. I am accustomed to having my orders followed, not brushed aside like a meaningless midsummer wish. Go, now," Thorin's already deep voice boiled over with anger, probably sore for the river water he swallowed. His hands flexed into fists and back, as if he had to consciously make them relax.

Without another word, Bilbo turned on his heel and went to help sort out what was ruined and what was still good from the communal gear. He passed Gandalf on the way, and the wizard gave him a cautious smile that Bilbo could not return. He was glad Bofur was off doing something else so he wouldn't have to talk about it. Bombur was good, if silent company, and exactly what he needed.

Bombur also made sure to save back extra potatoes for when Bilbo finally managed to get his own portion. Dinner was still a low energy affair though the rain had let up to a soft sprinkle. The fire managed to take hold in a spot well sheltered, and they took turns drying out after Thorin, Fili, and Kili were taken care of. He helped Bifur clean up afterward, but saved the thin liquid that was usually thrown away.

"Here," he said, holding out the bowl and broth for Fili to take. "I know it's not much, but I thought it might help ease the ache in your throat and chest. Gloin is taking some to Kili once Oin is finished with him."

"Thank you, Bilbo," Fili said, grimacing as he reached for the bowl and sipped carefully.

Fili had shrugged off the other dwarves who had tried to keep him company, but he held out his hand for Bilbo to stay. Oin had wrapped his ribs, but while the water had washed Fili clean from travel dust, it had ruined his carefully maintained hair. Bilbo managed to suppress a smile wondering what the dwarf's reaction to a mirror would be.

"I wanted to come see you sooner," Bilbo blurted out, hooking his arms behind his back. He glanced around nervously, but Gandalf had Thorin well occupied in conversation to the side where Thorin couldn't keep a constant eye on his nephew.

"I know," Fili nodded, and he reached out to coax Bilbo's hand out and into his own.

"I'm still mad at you," Bilbo said, pointedly glaring at the spot just over Fili's right shoulder.

"I know," Fili said, tangling their fingers together as he pulled Bilbo closer. He could barely keep his face straight, but Bilbo appreciated the attempt.

Bilbo twisted his wrist to take Fili's hand more firmly in his own. It wasn't the easiest contact, Fili's hand was wide and his fingers too think to comfortably lace together with his own, but when Bilbo turned to sit with him, it finally worked. "I don't think Kili or Thorin like me very much," he said, really letting the words sink in. The idea didn’t settle well, it fluttered around like so many moths lost in his stomach.

"They are not the one who desires your company," Fili rumbled, pulling their joined hands to rest on his thigh. He slurped up the last of the broth and set the bowl aside so he could rub Bilbo's hand between both his.

"Of course, I didn't like this hide so much anyway," Bilbo relaxed finally, it felt like the first chance he'd had since the previous night. He hadn't realized how tired he was despite not being part of the water rescue. "I won't miss it when Thorin skins me alive and then Kili wears me as a cloak."

"They would do so over my dead body," Fili said, and bumped their shoulders together. "I am sorry for scaring you before. Whatever my reasons, I should not have teased you."

"I forgive you, and I am sorry too. You were magnificent today," Bilbo said, still so glad they everything turned out, and the only loss was some supplies. It could have been so much worse, and he would not have had this chance.

"Really?" Fili asked, ducking his head and raised both eyebrows at Bilbo.

"Of course, you were wonderful, Fili," Bilbo answered, wondering what could possibly be going through Fili's head.

Fili wrapped his arm around Bilbo and settled them more closely. Bilbo smiled and leaned into Fili's body. He reached over and let his hand rest on Fili's chest, letting the easy up and down motion reassure him. Fili was here, he was breathing, and for a little while at least, everything was okay.

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	6. Chapter 6

During a pause of trying to wipe off snot, Bilbo noticed Thorin, Gandalf, and a few of the others spreading out to look for the troll hoard and decided he would help them. Most the damage wouldn't be fixed until he had a chance to bathe with something better than Bofur's water skin. He'd already lost most of his sense of smell, and the least of the stuff had dried into a tacky, itchy, grossness that he would rather not think about.

He followed behind Gandalf’s trail until something covered his mouth and dragged him backwards into the tree line. He kicked out and tried to twist away, but the grip on him was too strong. He wrenched his jaw wide and then bit down on the flesh between his teeth.

His attacker yelped and dropped him immediately. Bilbo swung around with his fists up and sucked in a breath to yell his head off. He might not be much of a fighter, but he could bellow loud enough the dwarves would come running. They were still spoiling for a fight after the unsatisfactory end to their battle with the trolls.

"Please, Mister Baggins. Please! It's only me!"

"Kili?" Bilbo slowly straightened up, staring at the dwarf in surprise. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Come with me, Mister Baggins," Kili said, reaching for Bilbo and pulling him along back to where the trolls had originally snatched the ponies. "Please, if you have any affection for my brother, don't let him do what he's about to do."

"Kili, what's going on?" Bilbo dug his heels in until Kili let him go, and then followed along willingly until they were a good way away from the rest of the dwarves. The finally came upon Fili was sitting on one of the ripped up stumps, a dagger poised in his hands. "Fili? What are you doing?"

"This won't change my mind, Kili." Fili said, avoiding both Bilbo's eyes and his question. "I don't deserve them. I've dishonored the quest and company. I put my own selfish desires above Bilbo's life, and I nearly doomed everyone."

Kili dropped to his knees at Fili's feet, and held on to Fili's strong arm. "It was both of us, brother," he said, taking the dagger and sighing when it was nearly instantly replaced by another from Fili's arsenal. "We can make up for it. You needn't lose your braids."

"Braids? This is all over braids?" Bilbo was about to rip into both of them for scaring him, until he remembered his earlier conversation with Fili. "Oh dear. Now listen, there doesn't seem to be any permanent damage done. We can find the ponies again easily enough."

If Fili was willing to cut his own braids off, then some sort of guilt must be overwhelming him and eating him up from the inside. Bilbo didn't understand it, but Kili came to him first, not Thorin or their other kin, and he needed to do his best. Everyone was better off for having dealt with the trolls, and no one had been hurt. If anyone should be blamed for the near debacle, it was him. He was the one who was caught.

"Nay, Mister Baggins," Fili said, reaching up and taking one braid of his moustache firmly between his fingers. His expression was harder than Bilbo had ever seen, though it reminded him of Thorin in his deepest brooding. "I must do this."

Kili looked to Bilbo, his hands grasping the loose material of Fili's pant leg. He clearly didn't know what else to do, but somehow had faith that Bilbo would be able to step in.

"Um, wait, wait. In the Shire we, uh, we have a custom," Bilbo stalled for time, his brain already fogged from the workout he'd given it with the trolls. He frantically searched for anything that would buy time for Fili to come to his senses. He grasped at a half-remembered story from his childhood. "Yes. If someone is endangered by another's actions, then they get to decide upon a punishment. If any is to be meted out, of course."

Fili sighed and rubbed his eyes, his spine finally slouching from his previous rigid posture, "And what would you have from me, hobbit?"

It was likely enough an intended insult when one of the others called him 'hobbit', and he bristled. Although he knew Fili would not mean it, the reminder increased Bilbo's stress and made him snap back, "I would have your moustache, dwarf." 

Bilbo saw Kili slap himself in the face with both palms out of the corner of his eye, but he kept his focus on Fili. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared, wondering how he’d gone from a respectable gentle hobbit, to these ridiculous situations. It seemed they were destined to always take two steps back for every one going forward.

"Then you are in luck," Fili chuckled, but there was no joy in the sound, and it nearly hurt Bilbo just to hear it. "Wait a few seconds more and you will have it in your hand."

Quickly Bilbo joined Kili on one knee in front of his friend. He too stilled Fili's hands and was not pushed away as Kili was. "I would have your moustache," he repeated, and placed a palm on Fili's cheek, running his thumb across the top of Fili's braid. "And I would keep in on your face."

" _What?_ "

He smiled at Fili and Kili's voices in unison. "Do not cut your braids, Fili. Please. You might have acted rashly, but it was not a bad plan," Bilbo caught Fili's eyes and held them, willing the young dwarf to hear and believe his words. "There were a hundred things I could have done that would have spared half the company from roasting on a spit. We will both have to find a way to make up for our mistakes."

"I think," Fili took a deep breath and sheathed his dagger in its hiding place. He cuffed Kili lightly on the back of the head, but tangled his other hand far more gently in Bilbo's curls. "I think I will honor you in this, both of you. And thank you."

"You just don't want to be prettier than me," Kili said, retaliating by yanking the thicker braid at Fili's temple before ducking away for Fili's reach. "You see how I have to beat the ladies away."

"Yes, Kili," Bilbo drawled, standing up himself and dusting off his trousers. So many years in his youth were spent wishing for a sibling, wishing for someone who knew him as well as Kili knew Fili. "All the ladies are yours. They have my condolences."

"As long as we all understand each other," Kili grinned, and gripped Bilbo's shoulder. He leaned in and pressed their foreheads together for just a moment before dancing away. "I think I hear Balin calling for me. Thank you. . . Bilbo."

Fili chuckled again, a much more pleasant sound, as Kili blended into the shadows of the trees. He tugged until Bilbo stepped into the vee of his legs, and then relaxed, letting his spine truly curve as all the anxious energy drained away. He looked up at Bilbo and cocked his head to one side. "One down, one to go," he said, one corner of his mouth tipped into a grin.

Shivering at their proximity, Bilbo let his hands rest on Fili's shoulders. Fili's thighs were stout, hard muscle that did not give easily when Bilbo bumped them in test. "I still have one question," Bilbo said, enjoying the way his belly jumped whenever he and Fili brushed together. He knew they needed to get back to the others, but he couldn’t help teasing a bit on his own. "Is your underwear as fetching as the others?"

"Well, now," Fili answered, stroking his moustache. He winked and continued, "that's something you're going to have to find out for yourself."

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	7. Chapter 7

The plants the elves cultivated were beautiful. Beautiful and completely untouchable to a hobbit. Bilbo missed the friendly plants from his garden, the smell of freshly tilled earth, and the taste of sunshine in his hair. Rivendell was lovely, and a balm for the flight through the wilderness with a pack of dwarves, but as far as Bilbo was concerned, sterile. It made him numb to everything.

"I thought you might come join us, Bilbo," Fili said, only slightly out of breath from chasing Bilbo down a deserted path.

Bilbo didn't pause as he walked through the garden, vines and leaves stretched over his head, filtering the light into a dappled pattern that gave no warmth. Like the elves, it was old, heavily rooted, though kept off the paved path. He missed feeling earth between his toes. "There were too many naked dwarves," he said. "I thought you lot would enjoy some time without hobbits, elves, or wizards breathing down your necks."

"I would like it if you breathed on my neck," Fili said, spinning Bilbo around and backing him up against a statue overgrown with ivy. He dipped his head and demonstrated, puffing hot air against Bilbo's bare skin. "I hope you don't have an aversion to naked dwarf."

Fili's warmth was exactly what Bilbo needed to shock him from Rivendell's spell. He gasped a sharp breath and wrapped his arms around Fili's sides, hiding his face against Fili's shoulder. Fili hadn't taken the time to get dressed or even dry off completely after he followed Bilbo from the fountain. He dropped a bundle formed of his jacket, outer shirt, socks, and boots, and took Bilbo by the hips.

"I might be interested in one naked dwarf," Bilbo said, snuggling closer despite the damp that sucked Fili's light undershirt against his skin. He hadn't seen Fili so undone up close, and even though it was the last thing he wanted, he leaned away as far as Fili would let him.

All the dwarves were heavy and thick, but there were some differences. Fili's muscles were more defined than middle-aged Gloin, not as wiry as Bofur or Nori, and not as large as Thorin or Dwalin. His unbound hair dripped over his shoulders, turning the white cloth see through. The shirt wasn't buttoned, or tucked into Fili's trousers, letting Bilbo see the hair covering Fili's chest that trailed down to disappear under the loose laces of his pants. Those pants covered slim hips but heavily muscled thighs, and Bilbo would be lying if he tried to say he hadn't thought about what was underneath them. He most definitely was not wearing the full suited underwear.

Fili hitched Bilbo up with hands under his thighs so he balanced between Fili and the statue. He grinned rakishly, sliding his hands to the crease under Bilbo's butt, but lost a little of his cockiness when Bilbo wrapped his legs around Fili's midsection. "Should I be jealous?" he rumbled, pressing their foreheads together, "Just which member of the Company have you been thinking about without his clothes on?"

"Hmm, I-"

"Mister Baggins, please have a care for Lindir's sanity," Gandalf interrupted them, his staff dragging the path behind him as he hustled the elf along in front of him. "The answer to that question may be better saved for a later time."

"My apologies, Gandalf, Lindir," Bilbo said, pushing at Fili's shoulder until he was put down do he could straighten up his clothing. There was a very unfortunate wet spot along the inside of his thighs. "We should have known better than to try to have a private conversation on a private path in Rivendell."

"Precisely," Gandalf said, his face twitched so fast it might have been a wink or a frown. "Now, dinner is in an hour, I'm sure I will see you both there before Thorin sends out an armed search party."

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	8. Chapter 8

The Rivendell guesthouse was empty in the early afternoon hours. Bilbo guessed most the dwarves were still out terrorizing the silvan elves who were actually making a game out of leading them as far away from the wine storage as possible. He wasn't sure which side was winning, but as long as Lindir wasn't following them all around wringing his hands, Bilbo would count it as a victory.

He'd spent the morning with Gloin and Ori, figuring out how to hold onto his sword and wave it around without cutting his own nose off. He still wasn't very good, and thankfully Elrond spotted them and sent some salve down that helped the various nicks and cuts stop stinging and heal faster. The last two hours were spent in a blessedly hot bath house, relaxing and soaking his aches away.

After raiding the kitchen, Bilbo was ready for a nap, trying to stock up on all the sleep he could before they set out again. He pushed open the door to the common room he shared with six other of the dwarves and stumbled over his feet. His bed, the one on the end under the window, wasn't as empty as when he left it.

Fili splayed across two-thirds of it, stripped down to only his trousers on top of the thin blankets. Light and shadow played over his skin, highlighting the ridges of his muscles, and the slight curve of his belly as it rose and fell with his soft breaths. He had one arm thrown over his head and the other curled at his hip, open and vulnerable.

Bilbo crept closer, silent on his feet, and almost holding his breath to make sure he didn't wake the sleeping dwarf. It had been so long since he'd shared a bed with a cousin, and nearly as long since he'd stayed the night over with a lover. He'd gotten used to his own space, not that he particularly liked it, but sleepiness won out over his fascination quickly. He crawled in from the side and nudged Fili's arm out of the way to lie down.

He would have thought his body should have been used to soreness after all the time spent on the road, but sword play used completely different muscles. It was a strange tension that thrummed through him, but when he finally relaxed and forgot about the big, half-naked dwarf next to him, Bilbo began floating. The bed was so comfortable and warm, and Fili's arm draped over him, drawing him close and kept him safe.

He woke up some time later, a long time if the shift of light against his eyelids were true, with a heavy weight atop him.

"I was having the most wonderful dream," Fili murmured against the soft skin of Bilbo's cheek. "I was in bed with my favorite hobbit."

Happiness bubbled up inside him. The sun streamed through the window and he was marvelously comfortable. The blanket beneath him was soft, and above him, Fili was a fierce furnace. He ran his hands up Fili's arms, sweeping his hair away, and looped his arms around Fili's neck. "I dreamed I was sitting down to supper at Bag End with all my favorite dishes," Bilbo said, stretching his legs down and his toes out. Fili's knees bracketing him kept him from moving any other way, leaving that feeling of anticipation vibrating deep in his bones.

"Open your eyes."

"They're too heavy," Bilbo protested, rubbing his thumbs into the bunched muscles on the back of Fili's neck. He did feel so heavy, ready to fall through the bed and back to sleep at a moment's notice.

"Open your eyes," Fili encouraged again, trailing his fingers across Bilbo's forehead and down over his cheekbone.

Bilbo struggled to open his eyes, blinking quickly against the late afternoon sun streaming through the window. Above him, Fili's hair burned in the light, dazzling and wonderful. The sun tanned his skin, and turned his hair to gold.

"Disappointed?" Fili teased, but his eyes looked tender and unsure.

"Not one little bit," Bilbo answered, tugging until Fili bent his elbows on the mattress to hold his weight and ended up with their faces much closer together. "Hello."

"Hello, Mister Baggins," Fili whispered, his eyes darted between Bilbo's eyes and lips until he finally dipped his head and sealed their mouths together.

Bilbo sucked a breath through his nose as Fili plundered his mouth. His eyes fell closed again, and he arched up, rubbing against Fili's bulk. He wished he would have been brave enough to take his own shirt off before climbing into bed. Fili's chest was hard, but his belly soft, and the wiry hair covering him rubbed deliciously through Bilbo's shirt.

Fili was being very careful not to crush Bilbo, and kept everything below their waists separated. Bilbo whimpered and struggled until he managed to slip his arms under Fili's and over his back, dragging his fingers into the shifting muscles. He petted down until he found the soft velvet waistband, and he yanked until Fili rested more of his weight on Bilbo.

The kisses lasted forever, warm and wet until Bilbo was dizzy and ready to fly apart into a million pieces. Fili's hair, loose and fine or braided and heavy fell, tickling Bilbo's ears. His whiskers scratched Bilbo's chin and mouth, and his moustache beads were a cold pinprick on his overheated skin. The contrasts gave Bilbo a tiny foothold on reality, a safe place where hobbits stayed home for tea and dwarves kept to the mines.

Then Fili rolled to the side and slipped his thigh between Bilbo's knees. He brought one big hand and spanned across one side of Bilbo's ribs, working its way under the shirt. His touch made Bilbo shiver, but his stomach turned molten. He didn't care if he were dreaming or not as long as Fili was near. There wasn't enough air in the room, anymore, not when Fili's touch could send him straight to the moon.

"Bilbo, oh _Bilbo_ ," Fili said, tearing his mouth away only to layer kisses across Bilbo's face. "Please, please tell me I'm not alone. Tell me you feel it too."

Fili pressed down sharply and Bilbo keened aloud, realizing quickly how hard they both were. It was out of control, even the fight at the trollshaw hadn't made feel so alive. He had never felt so very wanted He was the reason Fili too was hot with need. Previous trysts were only silly fumblings in comparison, and Bilbo wondered if his partners ever had occasion to feel this way. Not with him certainly.

"Oh! I … Sorry, wrong room!"

They broke away in time to see Ori's face turn bright red before he rushed out into the hallway. Bilbo took the opportunity to catch his breath and tangle his fingers in Fili's hair. He was glad to see the affects he created. Fili breathed quickly, his bare chest flexed and moisture beaded up in the grooves of his muscles. Bilbo reached out, drawn again like lodestone to iron.

"Actually, right room," Ori said, stepping back inside with a hand covering his eyes. He swished his other hand in front of him as he walked toward them. "I'm so sorry, but Mister Gandalf was looking for Bilbo."

Fili huffed and danced his fingers down Bilbo's throat and to his collarbone. The sun had moved enough that the light was slowly dying, letting shadows layer Fili's hair and turn him from a glowing lion to a nighttime hunter. "Let the wizard wait," he said, casually kissing Bilbo's shoulder and rolling his hips, "we were just getting to the good part."

"Yes, it's just that he wanted you before sundown," Ori said, knocking into a statue as he tried not to see anything, "and it took me such a long time to find you."

"I should go," Bilbo said pushing up until Fili fell back. A curious mixture of disappointment and anticipation warred in his belly. As much as he wanted to lie with Fili, he had the feeling that waiting again would make their next chance all the sweeter. "We can continue this later, right?"

"Most assuredly," Fili said, adjusting himself without a hint of self-consciousness. He kept his hand fanned out, cupping the bulge between his legs. "I should go check on Kili, before he manages to catch one of those elves he's chasing."

Bilbo palmed Fili's cheek and kissed him, crunching his nose into Fili's cheek. Fili moaned and reached for Bilbo again, but he intercepted and squeezed their hands together. "I'll see you later," Bilbo promised, slipping out of the bed before they distracted themselves again.

The wizard was becoming as bad as an aunty.

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	9. Chapter 9

For the first time on the journey, Bilbo's feet ached. The uneven stone of the mountain paths made footing treacherous for all them, but somehow without planning too, he'd gotten used to riding Myrtle. He hoped that wherever she was she was safe, and happy, and eating well. Leaving after moonset and before sunrise made for a long day's march, though he made sure to pack a handkerchief this time.

The brief stop at noon hadn't given him much chance to speak with Fili after their interrupted naptime and hurried night time departure. Thorin marched them hard, and left little time for idle chatter. It had been more than a day, but Bilbo's ears flamed every time he thought about Fili's thigh between his, and what would have happened if only Ori hadn't walked in on them. After camp was settled and everyone fed, Bilbo went looking for him, and found Fili sheltered between two outcroppings of rough stone and hardy weeds.

"I was wondering when you'd come looking for me," Fili said, setting aside a bit of wood and his carving tool.

"You could have made it a little easier," Bilbo groused as he kneeled beside Fili and slid over to share the blanket. Once he was sitting, he realized how clever the hiding spot was, protected both from the wind and casual observation, but within easy distance of the Company if trouble called. He tried to sidle up to Fili, but stopped quickly the second time a dagger hilt jabbed him. "It's like trying to cuddle with a hedgehog!"

"You want to cuddle with me, Mister Baggins?" Fili began unbuckling his belt and strap of his swords. He shifted the offending dagger which had poked Bilbo, and moved to brace himself more securely against the smooth rocks to the side. "You had only to ask."

Bilbo flushed, nervously kneading his fingers into the fur lining of Fili's coat. " _We can't do that here! What are you thinking?_ " he whispered, eyes darting around as if Thorin would swoop down at them from any and every direction.

"Come here, little hobbit," Fili said, opening his coat wide and setting aside a few of the weapons he kept on the inside. He gestured again, and helped Bilbo climb over him and sit sideways across his thighs without any knees in unfortunate places. "I will keep you warm."

Relaxing against Fili's chest, Bilbo sighed happily for all that he already missed the meals that Rivendell provided. He was warmer without having to sit on the cold stone. He tucked his feet between Fili's shins, and they slowly stopped throbbing too. "This is nice," he said.

"If this coat were only a little bigger, I could keep you inside it and never let you go," Fili said with his own sigh, spreading his hand over Bilbo's ribs and dropping his nose into Bilbo's hair. He breathed deeply, and then turned his head to rub his cheek. "My tiny halfling."

Bilbo wanted nothing more than to nap, warm and safe in Fili's coat, but a horrible thought struck him. He couldn't let it go, not if there was a chance he was leading the young dwarf on. "I'm not, you know. Actually, do you know? Have you any idea how hobbits work?" he asked, keeping his head down so he wouldn't have to see if Fili's face fell. From his position, he almost felt the chuckle before he heard it.

"I know they need to be fed and watered regularly, often throw up a general cranky manner to disguise other emotions, and apparently find yellow-haired dwarves extremely attractive," Fili said, holding up his fingers as he listed his facts.

"I don't know about _extremely_ ," Bilbo said, rolling his eyes. "And I am not cranky. I just want to make sure you understand. Hobbits are all small, it's not because I'm still growing, and I'm not delicate little fragile thing. You do realize, that hobbits don't grow beards? I am not young by our reckoning."

"Should I call you grandfather?" Fili asked as he spread his legs to give Bilbo more room to recline against him. He toyed with a bit of frayed thread on Bilbo's trousers. "Accuse you of robbing the cradle?"

Bilbo pinched the puppy fat at Fili's side and growled. "Could you at least _try_ to be serious about this? I know you're young, but not everything is a joke!" Bilbo said, holding on while Fili jerked at the contact.

"I'm not as fluff headed as Kili, I'll have you know that I take my joking _very_ seriously," Fili scowled, and managed to hold for a several heartbeats before his face transformed into a smile Bilbo was beginning to understand was just for him. "I am older than you Bilbo, I know my mind."

"You are older than me," Bilbo said, suddenly feeling tired under the weight of their different races. He'd never regretted being a hobbit before, and why would he? He couldn't imagine being one of the bigfolk, and he may as well dream of being a star as an elf. To be a dwarf, to love machines and cold stone more than grass and sky, and the fruit of the earth, well he wouldn't want that either, but his heart hurt nonetheless. "and you'll long out live me."

"There's no sense in borrowing trouble," Fili said, lifting Bilbo's chin with two gentle fingers. Once he had Bilbo's attention, he traced a line down from Bilbo's forehead to his nose and over his lips. "When Gandalf catches up to us, he could tire of Uncle's terrible sense of direction, fry us all with lightning, and go charm the dragon himself with his smoke rings."

Bilbo opened his mouth to argue, but Fili shushed him again. In retaliation, Bilbo flicked out his tongue and bit the pad of Fili's finger. He misjudged his bite, making it more vicious than he intended, and immediately felt sorry, and guilty that he was still irritated over his sorriness.

" _Or_ ," Fili continued, his eyes darkening as Bilbo sulkily nuzzled his hand in apology. "I could have fifty amazing years with you, who's to say?"

"I suppose that I am willing to table these discussions until after we have survived all Gandalf, the journey, and the dragon can throw at us," Bilbo said, stretching his hand to reach around Fili's wrist so he could rest his cheek in Fili's palm.

Fili leaned down and took a kiss, holding them together so long Bilbo thought his lungs might explode. He pulled back slowly, dropping quick slight kisses that did nothing to sate Bilbo's hunger. "I do still have one question, if I may?" Fili asked, avoiding Bilbo's attempts to continue until the hobbit opened his eyes and glared.

"Oh, go ahead, you preposterous dwarf," he said, laying his head on Fili's shoulder.

"Just how do hedgehogs cuddle?"

The laughter startled him, even if it came out of his own chest. Bilbo clapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide as Fili couldn't contain himself either. The giggled together, far too loud until the Company all fell silent.

"It's all right, lads," Bofur said when he came around the rocks to investigate. He shook his head, winked at them, and then turned back to the small fire still burning. "It's just the lovebirds."

"Fili," Thorin pushed around Bofur, and glowered down at them. His hands on his hips swung his coat back around and made him look outrageously big from Bilbo's lower vantage. "Take first watch!"

"Aye, Uncle," Fili said.

Bilbo was only looking at Fili, but he got the feeling that uncle and nephew were engaged in a silent battle of wills. The tension grew in the air, until Bilbo was desperate for something to break it. He tried to slide to the side, but Fili held him firm, and he would not have them focus on him for anything. Finally, Thorin heaved a sigh and turned away, back to the other side of camp.

With Fili's help, Bilbo got to his feet and stood while Fili gathered his weaponry again. "It's not your turn is it?" he asked finally, keeping his voice low enough that no one else would hear.

"No, but I will do my duty to the Company," Fili tucked his knives away, but not in his coat. He put them in his boots, in his bracers, and in the belt and strap that he buckled over his outer layers. Finally he picked up his coat and flipped it around Bilbo's shoulders. "Keep my coat for the night, Bilbo. And have fond dreams of me."

"I c-can't take this," Bilbo tried to pull the heavy garment off to give back, but Fili stilled his attempts. "You'll be too cold."

"I'll be fine," Fili said, pulling Bilbo in by the lapels of the coat and kissing his forehead. "I'll be thinking about you."

He let Fili push him back towards camp, and blushed at the knowing looks the others had once they saw him. The coat fair swallowed him up as he walked to the thin bedroll he'd rolled out as close to the mountain side as he could. He had no wish to roll over in his sleep and find himself tumbling all the way back to Rivendell. Kili tossed a small pouch of smoked fish at him and picked up his blanket to share with his brother while they both stood guard over the Company.

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End file.
